why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
