Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Boobs are out for the taking
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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