Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
