be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
