I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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