He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
