So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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