I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize