I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
