I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
