Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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