Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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