WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
