At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
