Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Randomize
