Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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