so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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