He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
