oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
