That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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