Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
