tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
