i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
