Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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