and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
