Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
