It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
