If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
