porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
