we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
