So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
