Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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