i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
