I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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