best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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