wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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