I hope mine doesn't look like that
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
