Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
