Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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