i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
