the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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