i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
