I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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