But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
