Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
