I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
