Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
