grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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