glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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