Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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