A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
