does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
