i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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