im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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