I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
she told me i tasted like america
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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