I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
