This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
