You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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